#i have to put so so so much effort to even look at myself and not see myself as ugly or weird looking. it’s such a challenge

[illustraice]

someone save alphonse elric and may chang from a very long suffering year

[genericpuff]

life update!

I've finally gotten enough work done on my teeth that I can take a bit of a break from all the dentist trips, I do still have some work left to get done but the worst is over. 6 teeth pulled, a root canal, and like 4 fillings later, and I'm no longer in constant pain. I'm so relieved. I'll probably be booking my next appointment in a month or two, after I've mentally recovered from all the dental trauma LMAO

But the biggest update by far - I've also been getting my tattooing going again! It took a few weeks of rebuilding my setup from what I had to leave behind at the shop, but it's all coming back together now! I'm now running a private setup and so far, it's been great :>

I did feel some slight regret after leaving the shop, the typical "wait, was that really the right decision?" type regret that always comes after making a big life change. But just like with any amount of change, now that everything's back together and settled enough that I can book appointments with my clients again, I'm a lot more confident in my decision. I think what really cemented it for me was when I did a 4 hour sternum piece the other day and actually undercharged for it, and yet I still made more from undercharging for that 4 hour piece than I would have at my shop if I charged my usual hourly - because 50% of it would have gone to them and I would have been left with less overall.

Of course, the money wasn't the only reason I left. By the end of it, I just didn't feel comfortable working in that environment anymore, it caused me a lot of stress and put a lot of unnecessary pressure on me that wasn't paying off, and all of it clashed with my auDHD which exacerbated my issues there. I didn't feel like my efforts were appreciated, so I subsequently didn't even feel like making an effort there anymore. By the end I was tired and frustrated and it almost had me convinced that I just wasn't cut out for this game.

But the game's not over, I'm just playing it by my rules now, not anyone else's. My booking schedule is still pretty much as slow as it was when I was at the shop, but at least now I get to keep everything I make, I get to order everything I want/need, I get to actually write off my own expenses because I'm the one ordering everything for myself rather than a middleman, I get to have my own space that isn't constantly subject to the whims and demands of a shop owner making decisions on my behalf (and often without consulting me), and I get the freedom of knowing that my schedule is entirely mine, without the expectation that I owe my time and energy to a shop that wasn't meeting me halfway in their own efforts.

All that ranting aside, there's a reason that so many artists have been leaving behind the shop life and transitioning into private booths over the past couple years. Shops just stopped making it worth it.

That's not to say I don't ever want to work in a shop again, I do miss the camaraderie, the daily opportunities to look at other's work and get insight from them, and not to mention the expo opportunities which the shop did provide at least twice a year. Shops offer their own unique experiences that were still good for me in a lot of ways (at least when they weren't to my detriment), especially when I was still honing my craft and needed direct guidance from others.

But I'm gonna be just fine on my own. Just knowing I don't have to balance my responsibilities between a shop owner and my own priorities has already been a huge relief off my shoulders. It's allowed me to find my love for this craft again and it's reminded me that I am capable of weathering the storms and standing firm in this industry.

[coldwind-shiningstars]

there's a very common thing I see on tumblr a lot which goes like:

person: people do this annoying thing all the time and I wish they wouldn't

other person: I do it because I'm autistic

person: I am too and it's still annoying and actually you saying this is ALSO really annoying

and I think part of this is the sort of persistent idea on here that there's an "autistic way of communication" that involves everyone speaking very clearly and straightforwardly and "autistic people have normal social skills with other autistic people!" and this is just simply not true? I'm a pretty highly verbal autistic person and I know for a FACT that people often don't understand me when I think I'm making myself very clear, and it's partially because I can put words in an order that looks good but that doesn't always mean I am accurately conveying what I wish to convey. and there is a whole host of less-verbal autistics out there who are never going to be able to speak clearly in a way everyone will understand

but also there's a thing where... someone knowing why you do something, or even sympathizing with why, doesn't make the thing you're doing less annoying. that's not something you can control. autistic people frequently find other autistic people absolutely unbearable to be around even if they know they're autistic! you CAN'T say "you can't be annoyed by me doing this, I'm autistic" and successfully get someone to be less annoyed, in fact they will probably get more annoyed. And then we go circular "I can't help repeatedly saying that I'm autistic to justify my annoying social behaviors, because I'm autistic" and everything gets worse forever

I'm not saying this in a "just stop doing things people find annoying" way. for me maybe 1/4th the time you either genuinely can't or it would be way too much effort, 1/2 the time you may endorse continuing to do things Your Way even if many people find it annoying, and 1/4th I do try to change. I think people should try their best not to be hostile or antagonistic but I do think it's my right to be that guy in class asking all those frustrating questions

but in the interest of advice: it is so difficult to accept that other people will find you annoying, but if you won't or can't change, they will continue to. and, to me at least, it's SO much more worthwhile to go "oh, now I understand what exactly I was doing that people found annoying! I'm not changing it but now I know" than to kind of uselessly shake your fists in the air and say "but I didn't KNOW you were presenting true information in a humorous way, I said 'OP is joking but this actually happens' because I'm autistic! they can't be annoyed!"

all that is true except the last thing. sorry. it sucks. it's a social disability for a reason :(

[partyof4game]

I have a scenario ask if you're interested!

Imagine the party have returned to an inn after clearing a dungeon, and the RO's are tired, sore, and probably a little filthy. But the MC offers to spoil them a little and run a bath and pamper them for the night. Clean and comb their hair, wash their body with nice soaps and such, ...maybe take care of them in other ways too (nsfw). I just wanna see some fluff of the RO's being pampered by a caring MC.

Assuming the MC and RO are in a committed relationship.

Stawwwp, this is so cute! 🥰

Raena is flustered by the attention. She dips her fingers into the deliciously hot water before giving MC a worried look. "Aren't you tired, too? I can't let you do this for me when I know you're just as beat up as I am..."

After some debate they both get in the somewhat cramped bath, water sloshing over the sides each time they move. Raena presses her back against MC's chest as her hair is gently washed, MC running their fingers through her wild curls. "This is amazing," she sighs. "Thank you so much. I'll do it for you next time, okay?"

Jem starts crying as soon as he sees the prepared bath. He's overwhelmed, trying to compartmentalize everything he saw back in that dungeon, the death and moments of desperation. It's so much for him -- so much every time. And you have to keep going back. "I-I'm sorry," he hiccups, taking off his glasses to wipe at his face. "I love it. This is so nice."

MC wraps their arms around him, holding him close until he finally calms and the water is at the perfect temperature. "I'll take care of you," MC says, "I promised I would."

Vana steps into the washroom wearily, her steps turning hesitant as she notices the floral scented soaps and body oils. "I assure you I can wash myself," she says as MC ushers her towards the bath.

"Yes, yes," MC says blithely. They knew it would come to this, Vana's stubbornness always rearing its head whenever it comes to self-care. "I'm going to pamper you because it will make me happy."

"Oh." She longingly touches a jar of lavender body oil. "You don't need to use these."

MC's heart breaks a little. Sometimes they're rudely reminded that while they and Vana shared similar aesthetic childhoods, there is a difference between cherishing the occasional luxury when it can be afforded, and the denial of anything luxurious even when you're sitting on a pile of gold... MC picks up the lavender oil. They decide they'll order extra tomorrow as a little gift.

Linzel takes in the sight of the tub, the line up of soaps and oils, the too fluffy towels. Fancy sneaks into the washroom, brushing against MC as she finds a corner to settle in.

"What's this for?" he asks. "Are you trying to seduce me? Because it's working." He skims his fingers over the hot water, before disrobing and sinking in. When MC chooses a sandalwood scented soap to lather into his long hair, running their fingers down the nape of his neck where he's most sensitive, he chuckles. "You really do know me, don't you?"

MC hums. "I try to."

"Well, you put more effort into it than most. I appreciate it -- and you."

Maymie squeals with joy. "You're going to pamper me?" Then her smile falls, quickly replaced by a look of suspicion. "What're you trying to get from me?"

MC laughs. "Maybe a date? A kiss? A thank you?"

She huffs, but can't hide her smile. "A steep price, but I accept."

With a skip in her step, she goes over to the line of soaps and oils, examining each one carefully before selecting a rosemary soap. "It's less caustic," she explains, handing it to MC, twirling her fingers through her auburn red hair. "This is the best surprise I've ever had, by the way. I think you can use it about six more times before the desired effect wears off. Maybe more... we'll have to see."

Aslo is filthy as hell. He's always the first one to jump into any puddle of mud or slime because it's the shortest path to the destination. There's only so much a cold stream or lake and a dwindling bar of soap can do.

He laughs in delight as he sees MC's grooming setup. The tub is a bit small for him, but MC sits on the lip of the bath, their legs on either side of Aslo's back as he relaxes into the hot water.

Aslo grabs MC's hand while their lathering his hair and tilts his head back to see their face. "I was right about you - that first moment I saw you. I was right to fall in love with you."

Sweets is the one who prepares the bath for MC. They don't do dungeons, preferring to fight humans than monsters, but they always have their ear to the ground, waiting for news about MC's successes in closing portals and their return to Sentari.

"You must be so tired after being stuck in nature," they say, grimacing. "I ordered some body oil made with flax and forget-me-nots... I remember you mentioning seeing them a lot where you grew up and I thought..." They cough and MC can see the embarrassment in the crease of their eyes and tremble of their normally sure fingers.

"Thank you --" MC starts to say, only to be hushed by those very same musician's fingers.

"No thanks. I'm doing the bare minimum for someone I hold dear. But you're welcome all the same."

[canisalbus]

So i remember an ask mentioning your mortal enemy, Felis Atra and their cats, and i thought it'd be fun to draw what Felis Atra's version of your italian dogs would be.

I think they would be called Butter Knife and Flamengo! Butter Knife is not his real name, it's an nickname given by his peers because of how harmless he is. I choose Flamengo because that's the name of Vasco's rival football team here in Brazil, so i thought that was the perfect name :)

Cat Machete was slightly inspired by the Oriental Shorthair cat because of their long noses and thin head shape.

Cat Vasco was inspired by the Scottish Fold cat, because FLOPPY EARS. I gave Flamengo longer ears and orange fur to make him more like his look-alike.

The last doodle is a reference to this ask (https://canisalbus.tumblr.com/post/728923918314946560/me-i-am-machete-ear-fan-number-1-those-ears) and contains the tumblr ask stand-in dog, whose cat version was inspired by the American Curl cat! They have round ears that are slightly floppy outwards.

Final notes: I know cardinal clothes don't come in vibrant blue, but i was ADAMANT on switching Machete's and Vasco's clothing color patterns. I would draw the rest of Butter Knife's and Flamengo's clothes, but i suck at designing cool outfits.

Speaking of outfits, for Machete's iconic void outfit, i figured it would be fun to make it more baggy for Butter Knife, in contrast to Machete's, that looks very tight-fitted. I think it's cute, it kinda looks like a sweater. Also i can't imagine a Machete doppelganger without high heels boots, so those HAD to stay.

Oh, and just to be clear, i'm not like, claiming ownership of these guys or anything. I just thought it would be a fun exercise. Hope you like them!! I love your art and your characters.

.

[never-the-innocent-one]

As Ava extended her hand towards him, Alec was there not even a moment later. He gripped her hand tightly, easing her back against him if she needed support. Her body was trembling so hard. Alec felt tears of his own sliding down his cheeks. For Finn, for Lance and Max. It wasn’t fair not at all. But Cassie’s presence there soothed him. Because she was very strong. He gave her a grateful look as he held Ava tightly. Offering her as much support as he could.

~*~

Wulfe nudged Mael’s side with a sadistic little smirk. He was imaging poking holes into him with holy daggers and letting the blood sizzle as it seeped from the wounds.

It took him precisely as much time as he meant to, to come back to himself and eye his prodigy with an amused expression.

It pleased him immensely that she chose to stay with him. Rather than join her cousins. “Very well, grasshopper. I have much to teach you. Hope you are up for a wild ride.”

He grabbed Mael easily by the back of the shirt and offered Calli his other hand. “Side-quest? Ohhhh funnel cakes!”

With her hand secured in his, he stepped into the opening of the hole. Dropped Calli a wink as they pummeled down, but they never touched the ground.

~*~

Hayden was livid. The second floor, despite being practically in ruins was freaking empty. No bodies not anything. except blood and wooden bullets. It would need a proper sweep to gather clues.

But he had more important things to do. Like getting his people to safety. When he arrived back at Finn he looked hurt but not at death’s door thank the angel. Alec was there. Supporting Ava. Hayden put a hand on his sister’s back, letting her know he was there. Turning to the fae healer he asked: “is it safe to move him? We need to get him to the Institute.” Glancing at Gwaine, he gave him a little smile of reassurance. “The family will need some privacy.”

~*~

Shifters didn’t get exhausted easily. So it was natural for Adam to dig dig dig. Stopping to bellow a howl for his people. To vacate the premise just as quickly as they could.

Still. His need to lay eyes on Juliet, his mate threatened to take him over. But he was an Alpha. He had to place the health of the pack above everything else. Later, when they were alone, he could search her over for scratches or bruises. Counting each, to make sure those who hurt her were punished.

~*~

Remus beamed at Constance. She certainly stole the show in a very intriguing fashion. Morpheus would want to know about that.

He merely shrugged about losing the warlock. He wasn’t important. Nereus could certainly come back for revenge but Remus wouldn’t be offering him any assistance.

Turning to face Thalric, he raised a brow. “Did Laszlo succeed?”

“Negative. There were intercepted.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Must I do everything myself?”

Thalric offered him a sympathetic smile as he followed after Remus, dragging Nereus with him. Leaving Noctis at the rear, trying to brush the dust off his suit.

~*~

Bryce made his best effort to curl himself up against Harry’s chest. Ducking his face into his neck

His mouse was screaming in his head to run, seek shelter, disappear beneath the floorboards. All things he normally would have done

But in this moment, being curled against Harry. Being able to hear and feel the steadiness of his heart. It was a blanket of sorts. As long as he was touching Harry like this, he didn’t need to run… did he?

~*~

Thaddeus hadn’t realized how badly he needed to see Desmond. Until there he was. Thaddeus exhaled a shaky breath. “You stayed…”

Letting go of the wall, Thaddeus launched himself into Desmond’s arms. He wasn’t a hero. He wasn’t anything but a strung out hippie. But in that moment nothing mattered other than Desmond being here, physically. Not just in his head.

When he pulled back he could think just a little clearer. Running trembling fingers through his hair he took a few deep breaths. “We have to… we have to find them. Ivy, Zander, Jules…” everyone in his little family. But he was so exhausted. The idea of having to physically move his body was too much. He sank down to the floor, fighting to catch his breath.

~*~

Blaze screamed himself hoarse. But now only a series of pained whimpers escaped him. The coolness of the healing magic spread through him. Leaving him stiff and cold.

Before his teeth clenched too hard to make words, he started grounded out bits of thoughts. Though his voice was hoarse. “Vampires…. Find them… vampires…. Erebus… please.”

Eventually he gave up on even that. He lay completely still. Moving at all hurt. The gentle rise and fall of his chest was the only sign he was even alive.

~*~

Enzo’s vision was blurred with tears. But he didn’t know which of them he was crying for, just that he was.

He cradled Emi even closer, wanting to wrap himself completely around her to block her from anything else.

Sage wasn’t tracking at all. It felt like all of his life force was draining out in a pool around him. Erebus was there. Holding onto him tightly. At some point Sage grasped onto his hands, using them to try and cling to reality.

But then he thought… what good had realty ever been to him? He whined softly. Wanting something, anything to cool the anger and hate swirling in him. Because he wasn’t actually angry at all. Butchered more like. Skewered. All of those sort of things.

Maybe later he would worry about the flashing of images and sounds echoing in his head. But not right now. Right now he wanted them. His brothers and sisters. He released one of Erebus’ hands and extended it out towards where Emi and Enzo sat. He didn’t just want them though. He wanted all of them. All of his brothers and sisters. Because he loved them.

Andre bared his fangs at William. “This is no concern of yours! Or any of you!” His voice had lost its edge though. Now he just sounded tired.

Stefan was going to snap back at him, but the sound of a slow clapping drew nearer.

Andre stiffened even further.

Remus appeared first, being the one clapping. Thalric followed close after, still dragging Nereus along. Then finally Noctis joined, adjusting his cuff links. “That was quite the show!” Remus said. “I haven’t had such an enjoyable evening in a long time. It is bothersome that we lost Mael around somewhere. But I’m sure the master will see to that himself.”

Andre was first to move, shoving past Stefan and William. “You know damned well this has nothing to do with any of these people!” He snarled.

But Remus was not the one to engage him. It was Noctis. “Unfortunately it does, I’m afraid. You made them all targets by coming here. And well… hiding Sage out in plain sight like this. Are you really all that surprised?”

“Andre…” Stefan warned.

The two brothers shared eye contact for a moment. Bringing clarity to Stefan about what this all was. He pat William on the shoulder before joining Andre in front of the group. “Well… this is all truly fascinating. However, Andre has always had sanctuary here as does all his people. So then it would appear the one you should be dealing with is me.”

Noctis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It needn’t come to all of that.” He replied, inclining his head to Remus who once again took center stage.

“The master only desires to have what stolen from him to be returned. As well as the one responsible. Give them both to us. And we will leave. No fuss, no bother.”

Stefan crossed his arms. “I would beg to differ on the fussing and bothering. You’ve made quite a mess here. I would inform about what that all means but it will remain quite clear once he’s got the time to deal with you. There is a reason my seethe has settled here in Chicago. That has nothing to do with the vampires. But as to your request… you can tell your master to go suck an egg. Because he’ll have to go through me first.”

At the pained sound of Helenus' voice, Alec paled. "What? What is it?" He didn't wait for the answer though, just turned himself around. The sight before him made his blood run cold. Finn. His eyes darted between Gwaine, Odette and Ava. "Oh angel..." he choked.

As much as he wanted to stay with Helenus, he knew he couldn't. Someone was calling his name and he turned towards it. It was Jace. He looked fine. And Izzy. Jace had Izzy. They were both alive. He was dizzy with relief. Then guilt. Terrible guilt that his family was safe but not Ava's. He reached for Henenus' hand, giving it a squeeze.

"I love you..." He told him, his voice strong and even. Then he turned back towards his friends and went to them, pulling Helenus with him.

~*~

Remus watched Constance curiously. Watched as the two women seemed to just crumple under her attention. It was fascinating. Who would have thought a vampire could be so easily overcome. His lips tugged into an appreciative smile. Very interesting.

Thalric was a steady presence behind him. He was reiterating the communications happening through their mind link with the others. He was close enough to Remus he could say it outloud. "Laszlo, Faustus and Lorcan, at base. Mael, link extinguished. Noctis and Nereus, links extinguished."

"Well aware of that." Remus muttered as he observed his two brothers in their states of unconsciousness.

Constance returned to his side and he smiled at her. "Nicely done. I appreciate the favor." He nudged the woman closest to Noctis. "Who is she? I don't have any intel on this one."

Thalric moved over to where Nereus lay. The prone vampire was gasping and grunting in pain. Not unconscious but also not any use to Remus. Which was annoying.

There was a cracking sound as Noctis' neck began to repair it self. He shot up into a straight backed seat. His hand came up to work his jaw experimentally. The expression on his face was livid.

"Have a nice nap?" Remus asked with false sweetness.

"That right, bitch." Noctis said, still completely calm about it.

"That'll teach you to make nice." Remus offered as Thalric rejoined them, carrying Nereus by the back of his shirt. When he stopped by Remus he let the vampire hanging from his hand, fall to the floor.

Remus glanced around with a frown. "Where's the pyromancer?"

~*~

At first, the shock of being doused in liquid didn't phase Blaze. Once that wore off though, the pain started to sink in. He'd barely managed to block his face from the assault when he smelled burning flesh.

His arms, his legs, his neck, the entire front of his body lit up in skin blistering pain. It burned holes through his jeans and shirt. The acid slowly licking up his back. He hadn't even realized he'd fallen.

And once he started to scream, he couldn't stop. At first he writhed in pain. Rolling around in vain to try and stop the boiling. Fire had never taken him before. Was this what it felt like for those nephilim when he torched their Institute?

But then his skin started to tighten and seize. So he curled in on himself. Twice he felt himself being physically slid accross the floor. He didn't know by whom, or where he was being taken. Because all he could focus on was the pain. He continued to scream until he'd gone effectively hoarse.

He must have passed out at some point. Because the next thing he became aware of was being being pulled. The sound of a girls voice the only thing he heard. Then, the pain stopped. His skin started to cool. Which he didn't really understand, but it made him sob in relief. The steam billowing around him.

~*~

Bryce was in shock. He couldn't stop shaking, but he wasn't cold and he wasn't hot. He wasn't really in pain either. Which worried him, because surely he should have been. He could feel the blood oozing down his face. The steady thumping in his chest was the only thing he could actually hear.

He'd been through a lot of trauma in his young life. So the fact so much was happening all around him didn't really phase him much. His vision kept swimming in and out of focus.

Several things happened at once. Soothing voices and touching distracted him as the warmth of healing wrapped around his head. It was then that he noticed he was laying accross someone's lap. That someone was Harry. Harry was here? Bryce stared up at him in fascination. Because he couldn't remember having noticed the other shifter's presence. "It hurts..." He whimpered to the vision of Harry that faded in and out of focus.

~*~

Thaddeus made several portals in a matter of minutes. The sheer volume of it left him feeling spent and fatigued. But he'd done it, Ten evenly spaced portals all the way down the hall. Luckily, they all landed in the same place. Torben's hospital. Where they ended up after that? Not his problem.

Once there was a steady stream of people lining up to move through the portals, Thaddeus went in search of Desmond.

It was pretty dumb of him. What made him think Desmond was even still there? He had to look though. He'd never be able to live with himself if the necromancer had gotten hurt on his watch.

There was so much noise around him. His head was already starting to feel fuzzy. Portal creation took a lot of energy. The fact that he'd done so many, in such quick succession meant that he really needed to lay down. But Desmond's whereabouts was far more important than that shit. He continued to stumble along, keeping a steadying hand on the walls as he searched.

~*~

As soon as he'd gotten hands around Emi, Enzo's stamina ran out. But that didn't stop him from pulling her closer to him. As if he could shield her somehow.

He kept her face cradled in his hands as he whispered to her. The tears streaming down her face felt like a knife to his gut. Pressing his cheek against hers, he started to feel his own tears start to fall. Because her pain was his pain. Always had been.

"Shhh...." He cooed to her, pressing soft kisses to her cheeks. "Emi love...look at me...that's it...look at me." He gasped. His throat, it hurt. Healing had begun, he could feel it working. But it just wasn't fast enough to keep up with what was unfolding around them. He didn't think he could physically keep Emi safe. Which was such an awful thing to bear. That on top of the shit happening with Andre, Sage and Erebus. Enzo was cursing everything.

"Emilia..." He said softly, circling his thumbs on her cheeks. "I need you to look at me. Please....please look at me." He pleaded as their world came tumbling down.

Sage's whine felt like a physical blow. Despite everything Enzo knew. He couldn't stop that from happening. He couldn't keep up with the rate that Andre was going. He was self-destructing. And taking all of them with him.

~*~

Strong arms wrapped around Sage as he swayed back and forth. A series of pained whines and gasps escaping from his clenched teeth.

"Sage!" The sound of Andre's voice cut clear through the haze of his mind. His body went rigid. His body finally starting to give out on him due to the amount of damage he'd taken.

The path back to himself was violent. He could hear Andre in his head, over and over again. Words that didn't make any sense to him. Nothing made sense anymore. But also, in the midst of all of that, he could hear Erebus voice. Pleading. Whispering. It was such a stark difference to how he normally sounded. Sage didn't like it. Not at all.

Then he could hear sobbing. Enzo. Emi. Why were they crying? He needed to stop the crying. But somehow, during all of this, he too had started to cry. The tears rolled down his dirt and blood caked cheeks. They were hot and sticky. And then, suddenly he was back in his body. And the pain exploded. White and hot, threatening to render him unconscious. Which would be a relief at this point.

And again, Andre's voice entered his mind. Slowly it started to eat away at Sage. Penetrating every wall he'd built, and then knocking them down. It was like a curtain was slowly parting behind his eyes. What was beneath, was a stage. Flashes of images, voices, taunts, memories. Erebus. There with him. Calli. Andre. When he'd laid eyes on Andre that very first night, he'd thought him to be the most beautiful person in the world.

Once that curtain fell. All that was left was more pain. And a voice in his head. A familiar, pained voice. Sage cried out, clutching at the hands that held onto him. A renewed sense of urgency overtook him. His brother. His brother. Where was he? He had to find him. His struggles started anew.

"SAGE!" Andre barked. "That's enough."

With that, his body gave out completely, and he sagged into Erebus' arms.

~*~

Andre clenched his shaking fingers into fists at his sides. He couldn't let them see how this was affecting him. If they saw, they would know. Know he was a fraud. A fake. A nothing. Isn't that what Morpheus told him? Just a pretty face. Nothing going on upstairs.

As soon as Sage finally fell, the need to just sink down to the floor hit him full force. But no. Not yet. He couldn't give in to the nothingness just yet.

Stefan was there, shouting at him. Telling him to stop. But Andre couldn't. Not yet.

Andre's eyes fell on each one of his children. He memorized their faces. Every curve. Every blemish. Just everything. He'd need those images. Tucked away in the recesses of his mind. Because they were his. His loves. Every last one of them.

"Have you gone mad?" Stefan demanded, finally having had enough of his silence. He grabbed Andre by the shoulders and gave him a shake.

"Not mad, dear brother." Andre said with false sweetness. "I just finally know what's really important. Me."

Stefan snarled, fangs bared. "They are your children!" He hissed. "You made them, its your job to care for them!"

"Like you?" Andre asked with a cruel curl of this lip. "Because you're so happy? They are leeches. Always wanting more and more and more. Bleeding me dry. I have no more obligation to care for them."

His brother's anger hit him full force then. He screamed obscenities at Andre. Calling him all sorts of things. But the most painful one was a monster. Andre was a monster. And would be a monster for the rest of eternity.

"Then kill me!" Andre snarled back at him. "Kill me and be damned well done with it or shut your damned mouth."

Stefan reeled back, sinking into a crouch, preparing to strike.

Andre closed his eyes, opening his arms to welcome his brother's ire. But...nothing happened. When he blinked them back open, he was staring at William's back. He'd stepped in between them. And Andre's heart sank.

[onebizarrekai]

howdy gamers. I didn't make very much digital art this year, but I did challenge myself to draw or write at least one thing in a particular sketchbook every night this year and fill its pages! I made my yearly art compilation out of that book instead of my usual digital art.

the drawings range from characters, objects, scenery, graffiti, one-sentence journaling, tiny drawings and big ones, foregrounds and backgrounds, angst, drawings mismatched and matched, 99% done in colored pencil. it's so satisfying to flip through a sketchbook where each page is completely full and brimming with color. I've put a few of my favorite pages below plus some other silly little things.

I only filled up about half the book this year, so the quest continues. also ozzy ghirahim is my favorite drawing in the whole book

[gregmarriage]

woahhh, nature!

[woodblxssomcrowned]

.

[electric-plants]

mydei’s boots were pissing me off so bad i finally snapped today and used over 2000 relic remains to finally get him ones that are just okay👍

[shayberri789]

I'm a little hurt by some of my irl friends and have two courses of actions, but which will both have similar outcomes

Basically, I have three creative irl friends. Every time they share their writings with me (be it fics, poems, stories or creative non fic), I ALWAYS read it as soon as I'm able and give feedback + healthy amount of gushing.

But whenever I write something I am proud of and I share it with them, none of them acknowledge it. Its like they don't see the link you know. And its fine because I just say "I wrote a thing" and give a link. I'm explicitly asking for feedback or validation. I can't be upset because they're not mind readers

But sometimes I explicitly DO ask them "hey did you see what I wrote?" "Hey, what do you think of this?" And i get half assed responses at best. "Oh its good" "uh ill read it when I get home *never hears about it again*". And that's a little more frustrating.

Earlier today I needed to put together a portfolio, and asked my two best friends to please read through it, because it was important and I needed their input on (1) thing, and I needed it *before the end of the day*. It was three pages of easy reading. Its not like I was asking for concrit or editing or something time consuming.

One of them skimmed it and gave me feedback. The other one is adhd and forgot. Said she'd read it later when I reminded her. When I reminded her again, she said she forgot and had made plans, can she do it in the morning?

And normally I'd say that's fine! Because I don't expect immediacy from my friends online, esp for favours. But I had a deadline, and this was the third time this particular friend has done this. There's only so many times I want to poke someone to read my shit before I start feeling like I'm bragging/attention seeker/being entitled and demanding. So I just went and asked someone else.

I know I'm valid to feel hurt about this, and frustrated. I also know that my friends don't mean to make me feel like this, or forget. I know they want to support me. But I'm also tired of getting burned so I'm just going to fucking stop trying to share my writing with them because instead of validation I'm getting pain.

My two options are either a) telling my friends that actually their silence and forgetfulness hurt me or b) just lettint it go

Either way, I'm not reaching out again. B) seems like the option less likely to hurt my friends/make them feel bad, so I'm leaning to that. If the roles were reversed, I'd rather option A), because when people tell me these things I do genuinely try to do better in the future, and I know my friends would feel the same. But I've also lost faith in their ability to do so in this area. Idk what I should do

[lumienn]

Me when I did 10 things to make my day better but came across 1 (one) thing that ruined it

[owcs]

For my first clip uploaded here, I figured it would only be right to have it be tracer gameplay. Here are some highlights from Nico of team VARREL against Hayabusa Gaming* from today February 27th, 2024. *Hayabusa Gaming does not have a liquipedia page to link to

[heymrspatel]

Its Kinktober! Do you have any work coming, if not, are you open to taking ideas/commission

hello! it IS kinktober 🥳 i've done a few so far and if everything goes to plan i should have a few more coming up. i went through a little dip and the momentum i had going disappeared. but, i'm going to try!

i appreciate the interest so so much, but i don't do commissions. the creative/fandom part of my brain is not wired that way unfortunately.

however, alice @darthvaders-wife, recently posted about accepting commissions! (she has also been posting incredible art every single day of kinktober - she's amazing and i bow down) if anyone else is accepting commissions please give a shout! 🩵

[oscargender]

to knowis to be loved and to be known is to b eloved. I want transgender friends who will know me and love me in a way that cis people usually do not

[ozymoron]

i suck at art so im drinking about it